Paxton’s Neighbors

Best pickup line ever...

nobody@vox.com(Marie) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:06:49 -0600

Drew and I finished our shopping tonight and decided to stop at the McDonalds in Walmart to have a coffee before heading home.

The only table available was a long bench connected by individual tables. We got our coffee and sat down. Drew across from me - me on the bench.

Sitting on the bench next to me (at the next table) was an older woman...probably in her 70's.

A well-groomed- looking good for her age -70's...but 70's non-the-less.

She is sitting there all alone..when suddenly..this older (70ish) man approached her. He asked if he could sit with her.

She politely replied that she was waiting for someone and was obviously not interested in making conversation with him.

He smiled and took a seat (on the same bench) at the table next to her.

It was quite obvious he was trying to score, and even more obvious as he tried to make conversation with her.

But she continued to play hard to get.

The conversation went on for a few minutes as he asked if she was from town and blah blah blah.

Still this woman seemed disinterested in his advances and spoke very little back to him.

Until finally he made a comment about her scarf...

Him :"that's a pretty scarf you have on there. It brings out the color in your eyes"

Her: a smile. "Thank-you that's nice of you to say"

Him: pardon?

Her: "I said, thank-you that's nice of you to say"

Him:"Your Welcome"..(as he slides over on the bench and is now sitting next to her at the same table)

Him: "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you, I forgot my hearing aid, so I'll have to sit next to you"

Her: "OH...ok" (extends hand)" Hi..my name is Mary"

Drew: (whispers)..."Damn...70 years old and still got it."

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Crap!

nobody@vox.com(Mello) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:40:59 -0600

I just wrote a long post about my week and now it's gone. Internet Explorer just completely flaked out.

Short version:

I'm exhausted. It's been a long week. Not in a bad way, just a lot going on.
Charter sucks. Fortunately it will soon be gone from our lives. I don't care if they offer it free, after next week we will never be Charter customers again.
My Norwex party went well. I'm getting free stuff! If none of my guests end up booking a party, I might book a second one so I can get a free mop. (I can't talk about having a mop without thinking about Michael Richards' character in UHF. Yep, the Weird Al movie. Rent it if you want a mindless laugh.)
For the first time in a month I'm feeling semi-caught up on school. I think it's because I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Just a couple more weeks, hopefully, until I get a break.
Bailey came home from camp yesterday. She had fun.
The bathroom remodel is going well. Brian had the place gutted as of last week and Monday-Wednesday, the plumber, electrician, and ductwork guy came & went. Yesterday Dale Earnhardt, Jr. came and hung the sheetrock. Who knew that was what he did during the week? I wouldn't think he'd need a second job, but whatever. :) Some pictures:

Kind of a before shot

Who knew ten-year-old girls liked demo?

Gutted

Shower on the left, ridiculously big built-in linen closet on the right

Sheetrock'd

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Purple, purple people

nobody@vox.com(SweetMisery) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:14:17 -0600

The first flower is there. Not open yet, but it is purple. I am so thrilled. Yee Ha A couple stumbleupon pictures then off to bed to read.

Cats2022

Hot_chick_with_nice_pussy

I didn't name them. Peace & Love Georgia & Annie

Nite Nite

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ICH today

nobody@vox.com(Snowy) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:44:45 -0600

"Why is this man in the White House? The majority of Americans did not vote for him. Why is he there? And I tell you this morning that he's in the White House because God put him there for a time such as this": Lt Gen William Boykin, speaking of G. W. Bush, New York Times, 17 October 2003

=
"God gave the savior to the German people. We have faith, deep and unshakeable faith, that he was sent to us by God to save Germany." Hermann Goering, speaking of Hitler

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"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side": Aristotle

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"International law? I better call my lawyer; he didn't bring that up to me"; George W. Bush, 12 December 2003

===

Read this newsletter online http://tinyurl.com/dy6yy

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bee day

nobody@vox.com(Piper) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:57:20 -0600

In honor of my 28th birthday I present the lovely Toni Basil...

4-22 I'm 28

Toni Basil

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3 guys, 1 truck, 5 locked out hungry people

nobody@vox.com(YahYah) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:54:48 -0600

Mostly, just 3 impatient dudes who don't want to wait for AAA to arrive because they, eh-hem, "know how to fix this.."

Greaaaaat.

The good news is, they got the door unlocked? Is that really 'good' news? What level of 'good' is it when you realize you can break into a Toyota Tundra with the bare hands and brute pulling strength of 2 guys, and the careful jimmying with the Tundra's very own antenna. Go figure.

And this... Is what it looks like.

photo.jpg

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Another chicken comes home to roost: Kevin Andrews

nobody@vox.com(Ninja) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:47:08 -0600

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24043030-601,00.html

Folks,

I'm once more astounded by the logic that, "We should have our own Australian people and not locals from there so that they don't discriminate," he (Kevin Andrews) said. "This would help solve problems."

This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the previous government was so out of touch with reality that they had no other option but to be dumped.

As though Australians don't practice bias and discrimination??? WTF???

The immigration portfolio has to work closely to the foreign affairs portfolio, and if the ex-minister had reservations about rorting at the various overseas posts, then surely it must have been a systemic failure between his own bloody department and that of that other idiot, Alexander Downer. Thank fuck they're both gone! To blame local staff is just pathetic and frankly, racist.

Ninja

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Vacayshun Memories

nobody@vox.com(sixweasels) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:17:52 -0600

I haven't done a Ten on Tuesday in a while (not having a computer at home means you tend to sneak in a few blog quickies rather than actually think through a post), but I saw this one in Florinda's blog and it struck me as a must-do. Plus, I brought home my work laptop and I'm all giddy about having a working computer here for the weekend, so I simply must write something!

10 Best Vacation Moments

West Virginia Summers
As a kid, I spent several weeks every summer with my relatives (my father's side of our family) in West Virginia. There was the great-grandma who let me bang out godawful noises on her living room piano (I never was very musically inclined), made me brush my teeth five or six times a day, and made sure she put me in a dress and dragged my butt to church on Sundays even though I tried my best to explain to her that dress-up was surely NOT what summer vacation was about. There was my great uncle who was a Ronald Reagan lookalike, had a fish pond in his backyard and a pet raccoon who hung out with me in the living room. There were my great-aunt and uncle who had never had children of their own but loved having a campfire and almost making me wet myself, first out of laughter over their fart stories and then in terror over some old mountain region ghost legend. And there was my other great-aunt and uncle who had children my age and let me join their family in the daily rituals of running their farm - milking cows, working in cornfields, and mucking stalls.

Ocean City Summers
Each summer when I was growing up, my parents also made sure we took a family beach vacation to Ocean City, MD each year. Thrasher's french fries doused in vinegar, playing endless games of Pac-Man and Skee-ball in the arcade, laughing with Mom on the beach over men in "bird suits" (I never was much on Speedos), swimming way too far out into the ocean and scaring the heck out of mom, buying cheesy tee-shirts and getting up early to sit out on our balcony with our binoculars for the occasional glimpse of dolphins swimming out at sea.

"THAT" Ocean City Summer
When I was fifteen, I brought my friend Joyce along for our weeklong family vacation. The morning we were supposed to leave, Joyce and I were packing up our bedroom and watching my little sister while my mother and father started loading up the truck. Mom knew we were all bummed that it was time to go home, and decided to cheer us up. She stood outside the bedroom window, flattened her face up against it, bugged out her eyes, made a fish-face and said "I seeeeeeee you."

The only problem was, all the hotel bedroom windows looked alike, and she had miscalculated by one. A little old lady lounging about in her PJ's got the surprise of her life. Mom's mission was still accomplished though - Dad told us what had happened and we all laughed all the way home.

Deep Creek
Another favorite childhood vacation was the year we rented a cabin at Deep Creek Lake. My mother swore that Jason Voorhees was alive and well and hanging out at our resort (and took the fact that someone had carved "Jason' into the dock by the lake as evidence of this) and was going to come kill us all. My father drove into West Virginia and brought my cousins up to spend the day with us. They had never seen anyone eating steamed crabs before and were so traumatized by our gleeful abandon as we chowed down on what to them must have looked like big red spiders that one cousin burst into tears and wouldn't come out of the cabin again until it was time for Dad to take her home.

Spring Break
I was too poor to do the whole spring break trip to Florida in college. No "Girls Gone Wild" for me. But one year, three girlfriends and I did trek to Ocean City for a few days, where rates were cheap in the chill of March and we could still see the ocean. There was a group of guys from another college in the room next to ours, and other than that our hotel was pretty empty. Of course, we all became party buds - especially since one of the girls in my group was the only one old enough to buy beer. One night I had a bad reaction to having way too much alcohol in my system and having my room filled with loud, belching, beer guzzling college boys when all I wanted to do was pass out. In a fit of annoyance I huffed out of our room wearing nothing but shorts and a tee-shirt. I got down to the boardwalk and realized it was actually SNOWING. But I was too drunk, stubborn and fascinated by the sight of snow on the beach to go back to my room, so I sat on the edge of the boards until my butt was completely numb. At some point, two guys came walking up the boards talking in bad Irish accents. They saw me and plopped down beside me, telling me they were theater students on spring break. One of them gave me his trenchcoat. We sat and watched the snow fall and talked forever, and I explained in my college-girl-drunk way that I had a bunch of morons partying up in my room and that's why I wasn't warm and toasty in my bed.

They walked me back upstairs and told the next-door gang to "get their dooomb arses out of the lassie's room." My friends were sick of the beer-bongers by that point too, and relieved. The next morning, we all realized how dumb we were - my friends for letting complete strangers in our room and me for bringing up even more complete strangers to help me get rid of them. But since it all ended well, it became a funny tale instead of a stupid-college-girls-get-drunk-and-get-hurt story.

I did one other college spring break in OC - this one with my friends Sully, Stevie and Moose and my roommate Krista. My favorite memory from that one is Krista and I getting ready to go out in our room one night (the guys were already out) and getting a knock on our door. The guy half of the couple staying next door was standing there looking quite uncomfortable.

"Ummm....your Moose is in the parking lot," he said awkwardly.

"He is?"

"Yeah ...he's kinda passed out under my truck."

I may not have had an "Animal House" college experience exactly, but it came pretty close sometimes.

Florida
Another favorite memory is when my ex-husband I took my niece to Orlando by train. We stayed with a couple I had inadvertently hooked up - one of my closest girlfriends from high school and a guy buddy from college who met when they both happened to visit me and my ex to go pub crawling when we lived in the heart of downtown Baltimore. They both worked for Disney and got us passes to the parks, yet we had a hard time dragging my niece out of their home. She was amazed by the fact that she could go swimming in March, and found their pool even more enticing than The Big Mouse.

But the funniest part of the trip was the train ride. I was snoozing uncomfortably in my seat with my niece beside me in hers, her legs sprawled over me. An attendant came by and asked my niece how she was doing.

"Not good at all," she replied. "My breath stinks because I've been eating Fritos." As if that wasn't bad enough, she hoisted herself up, added a "see?" and breathed right in his face. By the way his nose crinkled, she was right.

OK ... that's only six, but I've been going on forever and its time to curl up and watch a movie or with Lee. I'll write out the last four later, or maybe just cheat and make it a Six on Tuesday. I've already mucked it up by doing it on Friday, so what's a bit more cheating?

Oh, and Sylvester's feelings are hurt because I do NOT trust him near the work laptop. I'm such a meanie, not wanting to have to explain to the powers-that-be that I need a new one because the cat somehow managed to destructo-kitty it. I mean, how could you not trust THIS face?

I Swear I Won't Break It ...

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Looking for a Tonkenese Cat

nobody@vox.com(SweetMisery) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:07:25 -0600

And I found this instead. I did find the cat and they are beautiful. Hyde Park Concert. yep

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Does Batman Have Insurance?

nobody@vox.com([this is connie]) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:01:00 -0600

Think about it--with all the crap he blows up and destroys? Who's gonna pay for all that damage?

This post is especially for Renee, since she adores Batman :)

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