Iceburg Lettuce: The Gateway Vegetable

So, Strix and I were having lunch, yesterday, and I mentioned that the cook had put too much lettuce on my sandwich.  She tells me that she hates iceburg lettuce, which of course I knew because we've been together since we were future decendents instead of people.  But then she goes on and tells me that it should be illegalized.

And I thought about this for a little while, then said, "So we should legalize marijuana and illegalize lettuce?"

"Yes," she replied.  "Now mind you, I'm not saying there should be a one-to-one replacement."

But then I thought some more (which is never a good thing), and said, "I can see it now.  Mexican drug lords would be smuggling heads of lettuce across the border.  Lettuce would become the new gateway vegetable.  You start with a couple leaves now, and before you know it there's a ten-year-old overdosing on a head of cabbage in a dirty alleyway.  How sad."

Now, it's not true that everything that's illegal suddenly becomes more popular, but you can't deny that there is a certain appeal to the taboo.  Maybe, if we want kids to eat healthier food, we should make them illegal and tell them that good people like their stinky aunt Ima doesn't eat vegetables.

Vegetables

Hardcore, dude.

Of course, if we did, it would probably only be a matter of time before people combined their love of marijuana and vegetables.

Your thoughts?

[This post cross-posted to NaBloPoMo, for National Blog Posting Month.]

Nablo07_seal

4 comments